Saturday Morning Memories

It doesn't seem like it was that long ago when I was part of some special Saturday morning moments. As youngsters, my brother and sister and I would wake up on Saturday mornings and knock on my parents' bedroom door. They'd usually be up and reading the paper or a book and we'd crawl into bed with them and goof around...eventually the dog would be invited on the bed as well. When I was really little and had this Saturday morning time, Mom would do things like cut my fingernails. I'd also beg for a back scratch. My sister would play with and braid my hair. There was even the time when my sister and I had just been treated for nits and Mom would have the pleasure of "cleaning" our hair. I'm sure it was a yucky job, but to me it a head massage that almost made the nits worth it. All in all, we just had fun and enjoyed each other's company. Usually in the middle of it, after some begging, Dad would steal away and make pancakes from scratch, and of course in special shapes and letters.

Now it's Wes' and my turn to create Saturday morning memories and keep a tradition. This weekend we got to cozy up in bed with the snow blustering outside. All five of us (two adults, one baby, and two dogs) cuddling, just having fun, doing everything we could to steal smiles from Gwyneth. Wes even snuck away to make pancakes from my dad's recipe. Only in retrospect did I realize that we're walking in a tradition. We like that it's our turn.

Final Moments

These last days together fill me with dread. I know. I say it as if we'll never be together again, but that's exactly what it feels like. Gwyneth will soon be starting daycare. I start work February 28th. I always expected the end of this time to be difficult, but I didn't think that the tears would start before that dreaded first day drop off at daycare. It doesn't seem fair. It makes me want to live in a European country that respects the mother and child's need to be together for practically boundless days. I work in a country where paid maternity leave is an unknown concept to most employers, forcing many moms to return to work before they're ready. I'm now facing that certain doom - that doom of being in an office for 40 hrs each week when all I long to do is be with my baby loving and teaching her and taking care of her in a way that no one else can. At least least I have a good job, which although I am extremely grateful, is little consolation.

Another difficult matter is that we still haven't determined where Gwyneth will go to daycare. We're looking at places near to my work so that I can spend my lunch hour with her which is hugely important to me. Today we're interviewing a person who does daycare that is a few blocks from where I work - in the summer, we could even go for walks together on my lunch break. If such an arrangement could be made, it would soften the blow. Regardless though, I'm in for losing sleep over it.

This weekend my plan is to eek out as much fun as we can together as a family, so that when Wednesday comes I can have good memories to carry me through the workday and until the next weekend when we can make more.

I guess this post is done - Gwyneth is crying. I'm going to go enjoy it...as well as the dirty diapers and the getting up in the middle of the night and... Every moment now is to be treasured, but still, this is how we feel about the whole thing:


I'll post new pictures soon...

Life Lessons

We're learning here.

God often teaches us with pictures and parables. For us, Gwyneth is a picture.

It seems that as we grow in life, evidence of God in our lives also grows if we're willing to observe it. It also seems that the understanding of God's character also grows with our experience. Marriage has been a great picture of God's character, how he loves us, and through it, both Wes and I have grown closer to God. Now we've got Gwyneth and we're getting an even better, clearer picture of God and his love for us, and I think that's partly why God creates and gives us children.

We look and Gwyneth and observe her chubby little hands with long fingers and her feet with tiny toes that look like there are little peas attached to the ends of each of them. Then there is her beautiful face with delicate features, large round eyes that observe and study everything, a button nose with a little ski jump at the tip, a rosebud mouth that occasionally curves into a sweet smile. She is wonderfully made, and we love her. What is funny is we don't love her for the way she looks (although it certainly is a perk to parenthood) and as far as functioning, she, like all other 6 week olds is not able to interact much with us. She can't give us anything, except her poop, pee, hunger, cries, and to us a lack of sleep, but we still love her like we've never loved anything else and it doesn't make any sense.

I think that when God looks at us, he looks at us the same way we look at Gwyneth - with love, an inexplicable love. Only his love is infinitely deeper for us. We can't give God a whole lot, and when we give him something, it's usually not good, it's often trouble (like Gwyneth's endless dirty diapers, wails, and needs for milk, time and sleep). But even with all the trouble we give him, I think he still looks at us and marvels at his children, and he longs to be close to us, the way I long to smother Gwyneth with kisses every time I look at her - even when she's giving us trouble.

This is a beautiful picture.

Dream Weaver

I know that the traditional dream weaver looks something like this:

This however is what a dream weaver looks like in the Patterson house:

This is the cadillac of all dream weavers and last night, it allowed all of us deep dreams. Last night Gwyneth slept so well that Lesley had to check on her at 3AM and make sure she was okay, because she went in the swing shortly after 10PM and never made a peep since. Breath was coming out of her nose, but in the process being checked, she stirred a bit, so Lesley decided to change and feed her. Then she went back into the swing after she refused to easily be put down in her crib, but then didn't wake up until 8AM. GOOD MORNING!

It worked so well, we are now faced with a dilemma. Do we make ourselves stay up with her, rocking, bouncing and patting her for up to an hour to put her to sleep, or do we allow a machine to do it for us and let her sleep in it for the rest of the night? Is Gwyneth already at the age where she can become dependent upon a swing? Who knows. Tonight we'll try feeding her, immediately putting her in the swing and when sweet sleep rests upon her, we'll gently try a transfer to the crib and see what happens.

They should make these things for adults and perhaps we'd all be instantly de-stressed and sleeping well. I'd bet it could work as well as Lunesta (or other sleep medications) with none of the side effects.

Eating the Alphabet

She already loves reading books - well maybe just looking at the pictures while papa reads them!

Rude Noises and Other News

You know your life has changed when you get excited about "rude noises." Gwyneth has entered the world of gas and after a very long night and day of constant crying, I ran to the drug store to get some drops to help her pass that gas. It worked instantly and she belched like an adult with no manners. Every burp and toot is a small victory and Gwyneth is showered with praise, clapping and smiles. Although rude, I know that those passings of gas will give me a longer night and a day filled with moderate amounts of peace. Life sure is different.

Gwyneth had her one month pediatric appointment this afternoon and she continues to make progress. She's grown to 10 lbs and 1 oz and a hair under 22" - that's an increase of 1 lb 13 oz and about 2" in one month. The doctor said that she looks great!